Get a sneak peak of bits & pieces of my newest novel as it is being written!

Born in 1975 Molly Roxx has been writing short stories and poetry since the young age of 8. At the age of 17 her first poem was published in the Lake Forester, a local paper in Lake Forest, IL.  Since then, she has had numerous articles, poems, and short stories published in newspapers, magazines, and books. She is now working on a series of novels.

The reason for the book:

The independence I have now feels far more amazing and miraculous and freeing and wonderful and joyous… than any force-fed lies I chose to believe and deal with when I was with you. 

I understand why you are such a narcissistic asshole. Your childhood was insanely horrid! You had no control when it came to your childhood. Mother always taking so many pills she’d pass out and you had to raise yourself. An abusive teacher who locked you in a closet time after time. A Schizophrenic father with a controlling edge. The wounds from your childhood are very real and excruciatingly agonizing! Believe me when I say that I truly understand. As an adult, you “had” choices. You could have chosen to become the human garbage that victimized you and did you wrong, or you could have become someone so much better than that! Pain is very real and damaging. Healing is very real too, and that’s what strong people do. They heal. They realize their abusers were the ones with the problems and they do everything in their power to not treat others the way they themselves were treated because they know how horrible it feels. They have empathy. They would never want anyone to go through what they had experienced. They have heart and manners and decency. They have a miraculous strength that gets them through! You…you’re just a weak ass bitch!  It’s too bad that as you developed into the adult that you are today you turned into all of the monsters that victimized you. ALL OF THEM! And, as you sit in your prison cell for the next 5 years, are you realizing that you are the problem? No, you are figuring out how to victimize those around you. You are planning to be released and find new victims. You are sitting in your cell complaining and blaming the world instead of looking in the mirror and realizing that your problem is starring at you.

You’re so vain you probably thing this book is about you…Well, it is!

narcissist

[ nahr-suh-sist ]SHOW IPA

noun

a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.

Psychiatry. a person who has narcissistic personality disorder.

Psychoanalysis. a person who experiences or exhibits narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of their own physical or mental attributes.

boaster

braggart

egocentric

egoist

egomaniac

Some ways to identify a narcissist…They are always preoccupied with themselves. They have absolutely no empathy for anyone but themselves. They are obsessed with their appearance. They take pride in everything that they do even if it is as simple as sharpening a pencil. They will brag about how well they sharpened it and expect praise in return. They exaggerate all the time. If you criticize them, about anything, and I do mean anything…they cannot handle it. Tell them their shoes are tied oddly, you’ll regret ever opening your mouth. They envy everyone and everything and are jealous of the world around them. MOOD SWINGS! Holy crap do those come out of nowhere and come on so quickly and are so dramatic! Narcissists are drama queens for sure! They thrive on drama! They all have huge egos and no self-esteem. They need for everyone to approve of them as they are busy approving of absolutely no one.

A narcissist just about always tells you some dreadful stories about his ex. He may say she cheated or that she verbally attacked him. He may say that she physically harmed him or that she emotionally tortured him. He may say she was senseless, and careless, or a number of other disparaging things about her. He wants your sympathy and compassion. That is his goal. He will tell you about how all of his ex -relationships came to an end because the person he was dating was evil or a cheater or just plain crazy! He needs your pity because he is a pitiful piece of garbage, and he knows without your pity he could never get the time of day from you.

Narcissists are inclined to reject their personal flaws and to place their responsibilities and faults on others for their personal inadequacies, bad luck, errors, and failures. While doing so they thrive on taking credit for other people’s work while making the people who completed the accomplishments feel like they had nothing to do with their own successes.

You denied everything, even as I was catching you doing it! “Caught red handed” and you would try to tell me I was seeing you incorrectly! Seriously, did that shit fly with anyone? I hope not. You tortured me enough. I hate to think of just how many victims you just left in your past without a thought or a care.

Trauma Bonding is when you’re so heavily attached to a toxic person, that you are willing to maintain a relationship, even at the expense of yourself for the few and far between good times.

Your brain gets highly addicted to the habitual ups and downs of oxytocin, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, that even when the relationship ends, you will seek and crave the person or become obsessive or seek similar people in order to get your fix. It’s the rewriting of the neurological pathways of love, turning against itself

The loss of the love makes you crave them more. You’re dependent in the same way a heroin addict is. Even though there really never was any real love. You become obsessed with the idea of who you hoped this person would be and you are just so grateful that someone is there with you, as they are never there “for” you. I had my own version of Stockholm Syndrome with you.

It was also a form of Muscle memory for me cuz of my dad. He was abusive for 95% of my life, and you know what they say…Girls marry their fathers…

Narcissists need: An unending need for constant validation, compliments, praise, appreciation, and ego-boosting. They live their lives with a constant blind spot. They have no self-reflection, empathy, sympathy, or heart.

The result of the narcissist’s mind is therefore a created identity that is very certain and confident. The unhealthy belief in his own greatness and truth creates an unfair advantage when their truths conflict with the truth of their victims.

Providing a narcissist with your affection, attention, consideration, support, and appreciation will not awaken them up to all the damage they do and have done. It doesn’t work; they just entirely exploit those parts of you. Attempting to prove to them that they have a disorder and trying to enlighten and educate them on their diagnosis as an obvious narcissist will never make them see the light. They will only reject your words and, then launch them at you like a missile attack during a war full of hatred and malice.  The only thing that works is total disconnection/detachment from them. If you involve yourself with them, you will get taken advantage of, ill-treated, verbally and sometimes physically battered, and just all in all treated like a dirty diaper. This is how he functioned in his own little world, he fed off me. He ate my energy and happiness and joy all so he could have some empty ego and false pride to throw around.

“Diablo” was the manager of my lunacy, and I needed him, desired him, craved him, like a junkie in need of a never-ending fix of agony, disrespect and hurt.

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